Anything & Everything / Unfiltered Thoughts

STOP DOING THIS IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY!!

Stop everything that you’re doing right now and read this blog to find out exactly what you’re doing wrong that’s preventing your happiness!!!

I’m not going to lie, I could sit here all day and drum up a load of stuff that we do day to day that literally kills the joy in our lives. Honestly, I feel targeted just thinking about it!! But there is one thing that we all do and it seems to have gotten worse since social media has gained more popularity. The most worrying about it all is that no one seems to be addressing it either. I’ve even caught myself doing it a few times in the past and I became so toxic from it! Which is why I wanted to share it with you guys as soon as possible. It doesn’t mean that I, we, you are toxic people, it just means that we are people. We are human, shit happens and quite frankly I would be very bored, worried and have nothing to write about if it didn’t! The most important thing is to not be in denial about it. Acknowledge it, change it, move on from it.

So what is this awful thing we keep on doing, that we are so blissfully unaware of?? Grab a brew and make sure you read on until the end, because it may not make sense at first and I would love to hear your views on it too! 

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Firstly, let me set a couple of scenes for you…

You’re scrolling through Instagram, Entrepreneur babe is posting about how perfect her life is, how much she got done today in her perfectly put together outfit, sitting on the coast of Greece with her vanilla, skinny, frappe latte. Chowing down on an overpriced, but undersized, organically produced salad. How does that make you feel? Seriously, think about it for a minute. Did it make you happy? Or did it make you annoyed, jealous even? 

That super Mom on your timeline boasted about how well her kid is doing in school again. The kid who always eats their fruits and vegetables and is better dressed than most adults you know (Me, I am most adults I know..). The Mom is always so active, social and well put together. She makes life look so easy!! How does that make you feel? Happy? Or deflated? A little like you’re failing because your life looks far from the perfect life that she posts and neither you, or the kids have your shit together??

Popular Instagram hottie is at it again! It doesn’t matter what she posts, because her followers absolutely love her and support her regardless! Her Instagram reel solely consists of pictures of herself, posing in the most popular hot-spots in designer clothes and the perfect no makeup makeup look that you know took her at least 4 hours to complete, another 1 hour taking the perfect candid shot and a further 1 hour choosing, editing and tweaking the picture itself! She’s always out with her friends and quite frankly you think she must be doing some dodgy stuff to afford everything!! How does that make you feel? Happy? Or self conscious? 

Don’t worry, I too have been the latter to all of these scenarios before now. Once I started, it was as if I just spiraled after that! I found myself hating on these women, that I knew nothing about and more often than not I had never even spoken to them before. They had done nothing wrong to me personally, but I found myself being – I guess you would call a hater! After a while of becoming jealous and endlessly asking “Why her? Why can’t I be, do, have that?”, I eventually convinced myself that their life MUST be a lie. They can’t possibly be THAT happy all the time, have all those friends, own all those things, fly to all these places and look THAT perfect everyday!!! I know deep down you feel me on this ladies, even if you say no… I know you’re lying!

Now the pennies dropped, right? You know exactly what is preventing you from being happy just by reading all that… That it must be everyone that only posts about how perfect their life is on social media. It must be the girls that clearly edit their photos on the gram. It must be that you see through their lies and know that they aren’t as perfect as their stories make them out to be. It must be their fault because it makes us, the people that don’t feel like we have our shit together or that we get as many likes online for our realness, feel like we are less than deserving, not successful and just completely undervalued. Those people should be more “real”, they should post about what really goes on behind closed doors, the struggles and they should stop taking pictures in good lighting and only on their good side… 

Right?.. WRONG!

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Honey, there’s no other way to say this… But it’s you. It’s been you all along. Hey, don’t get pissed at me! This was a tough pill for me to swallow too! Before reading further, you have to make yourself open minded to the other perspective of this issue in order for you to move on and become better! 

No one, not me, not you, not anyone on the gram, not one person owes anyone anything. You don’t need to constantly fill everyone in on all the gory details of your life. You don’t need to always get your stretch marks out on your pictures because you have them. You don’t need to talk about all your struggles, just so that everyone else looking at your profile can feel better about their lives!!!!! Seriously?! When you think about it like that, no one should have to feel like they need to expose themselves to make another human being feel better that they’re not together. Again, that is not their fault, that is yours. You are the only person to control your feelings, meaning you feel like that because of you only.

Obviously, not everyone is perfect. Obviously, no one leads a perfect life. Obviously, no one looks that perfect and together all the time. OBVIOUSLY! But their life, what they do, what they say, what they post, should never affect you. THAT’S what’s preventing your happiness. Focusing, comparing and obsessing about what other people do. You don’t achieve an A in French when you are focusing on your friend learning Spanish… It made sense in my head anyway!!

Here’s the catch though… Even though what I said above is so important and must always be remembered when scrolling through the internet, it is still totally okay to talk about your struggles! It’s just as important now more than ever! You having a voice gives another person their voice. You being brave and sharing your story through the good, the bad and the ugly can be so inspiring not only to yourself, but for thousands more.

Confusing, right? That’s the world for you, hen! It’s not as black and white as everyone wants it to be. Just have an open mind and remember that everyone is different and deals with things in different ways. Either way, it’s okay! You just got to do you, focus on you, be you, live and love for you and that’s where happiness begins!

I dare you for the next week to be the nicest bitch on social media that anyone ever did see!! Even if you don’t really know them, even if their profile makes you green with envy, go out of your way to say something nice instead. Only good things and feelings can ever come out of being a nice human.

So, in short…

Someone else’s pain and suffering shouldn’t be what you need in order to feel better about you and your life. No, nobodies life is as perfect as they make it out to be online, but what has that got to do with you? You can’t control another person, but you can control how you act and how you feel. So come off of social media if it makes you feel anything other than great. At the very least make sure you unfollow anyone that makes you feel less than great. Other people’s success is not an indication for how much you are failing, it should be the truth you needed to see that you too can achieve what you want to achieve! Let people be who they want to be, without it affecting you in anyway. Focus on you, go out of your way to do things that lifts your soul up. Quit comparing yourself and start inspiring yourself!

Corr, never mind a brew! I could do with a tequila after that load of babble! What did you think? Did it change your mind? Do you agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below or feel free to email me confidentially. I would love to know your outcome after getting this far. Don’t forget, someone out there could really benefit from reading this today. So I could do with your help with sharing it far and wide! 

Have a great week, Momma!

Tina

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