Anything & Everything / Unfiltered Thoughts

THE 1 TOXIC TRAIT WE ALL SEEM TO LOVE!!

It’s not news to everyone when I say that the internet is and can be a very dark, dangerous and toxic place. In an ideal world, it would have been taken down years ago or at the least left with only useful and positive things on there… But the reality is that it’s still here despite it all and is getting more toxic, yet more popular everyday… But why?

DRAMA SELLS!

It really does, no matter which way you look at it. News, papers, social media, celebrities, influencers, YouTubers, blogs, of course even our favourite shows are all filled with complete drama. It is literally the main source of traffic everywhere. What makes headlines? Feuds, death, terrorism, bad political choices the list is simply never ending. Lord, you even have celebrities MAKING UP drama just to gain more popularity! You may think that sounds stupid and it does, but it’s the truth! Just take the recent “celebrity” public feud that’s been happening between Jame Charles, Jeffree Star and Tati Westbrook… If you haven’t seen it yet, PewDiePie sums it up really nicely in his video’s. I’m not saying this drama was necessarily made up, but the point being that Tati gained over 5 million subscribers in less than a week for bringing sheer drama to the table no matter how BS it was. She may not have monetized her rant video, but you can damn well be sure that she talked about her product for a lengthy time AND included the link to them in her description box… When these influencers do reviews, how many times have they included in the title or thumbnail photo that has made us think that they are going to be bitching about a brand, you’ve clicked it to watch and they are basically raving about it!! Not that I don’t believe what they have to say about the brand, but they’ve created “drama” first to get you interested. Think about it…

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Jeffree is quite possibly one of the most controversial people on that platform, who’s messed up more times than I’ve told my daughter that I am eating something spicy when in fact it wasn’t spicy, just so I could eat it to myself! He’s not stupid, he’s just a master manipulator. In the real world of you and I, if he had accused a 19 year old of the things he accused James of without proof, he would be receiving a big lawsuit on his desk. BUT YET HE STILL HAS OVER 14 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS?? The whole Kardashian clan are the supreme’s of drama… Did it damage their careers? Nope. Did they make money out of it? You bet they did. Are they rich from it? I don’t think they could have gotten as far as they have so far without it. Will they do it again? Absolutely, for as long as we will allow it!!! And it’s because we are rewarding toxic behaviour by giving it our time of day. Even if you hate it, you are still supporting it by simply watching it, reading it, talking about it, reacting to it and commenting on it.

BUT WHY DO WE LOVE IT SO MUCH?!

I guess in short, it makes us feel better about our own dramas knowing that there is other dramas out there. Whether they be bigger or on par to our own. Isn’t that just crazy that we need to compare not only our lives but our own dramas to feel better, or to feel normal? I think we really need to focus on being our own people. You don’t need to see how someone else lives their life to deem yours as normal. The same goes for your problems, your looks, your actions. You need to be you, focus on you and if what you are doing feels right by you and you’re not hurting anyone, then you don’t need another living sole telling you whether it’s okay. But not only that, it is intense to witness such things happening in the world and on the media. Thus creating some sort of adrenaline rush, making drama some sort of drug that we have become addicted to over time. Jeez, honestly… Saying it all out loud has me realising just how crazy and out of hand the whole drama obsession has become.

IS IT OUR FAULT?!

At this point it doesn’t really matter who started it, but I know that we can all play an active role in making it stop. Because let’s be honest, it’s really not healthy to focus on all this negativity and drama that’s going on in the world that’s not even our own. Why add other’s when we already have our own?

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I am all for the ignorance is bliss movement to be honest. We don’t have TV at home… We do have TV’s, we just don’t have live TV. So if there is something that we do want to watch, we watch it through YouTube or Netflix. But I point blank refuse to watch anything to do with the news. I skip past all articles and avoid all newspapers. Because that is hands down the most depressing of them all. At least with the celebs it just feels like you are watching a really decent drama series, where as with the news it makes you realise what a dark world we live in and that that is really happening. Or so we are lead to believe… Cue conspiracy theories in the comment section!

I began to cut screen time in our home a few years ago for 2 reasons.

1. Because I wanted our daughter to be brought up with more active play.

2. I found that it was a massive distraction to what I really needed to be doing.

I told myself all these lies as to why I couldn’t fit in a workout everyday, or why I couldn’t work a couple of more hours on my business. But yet I always found the time to watch TV in the evening… Every evening. Since cutting down I have found a shit load more time to do a lot of things, my mind feels much more clearer and when I do fancy sitting down to watch something, I find that I don’t have the patience to sit and watch it because I would much prefer to be doing something more productive or active. Which has been incredible to my mental health.

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The media is very much like a child. The more attention that you give the bad behaviour or the negativity, the more they will do it because at the end of the day ANY attention is good attention. They will keep on throwing the tantrums and saying/doing the horrible things because that is exactly what keeps you coming back and spending more time with them. Instead, you have to give the bad as little attention as possible and just lead by example and praising every tiny good thing that they do, hoping that eventually they will follow suit.

I see it some many times, people complaining that they never see anything good in the news, or that they are fed up of all the drama that celebrities do, etc. We just have to stop giving it the time of day! When was the last time you stopped and read a beautiful story on facebook or in the newspapers? Even on facebook, some people won’t like or comment on a single thing that you do until you say or do something that they don’t agree with!! Subliminally we all get a bit butt hurt and jealousy takes over us, hearing others succeeding is hard sometimes. I get it, I have been guilty of it myself in the past. But let’s acknowledge it, move forward and try and celebrate everyone’s wins and victories, including our own. Celebrate all the victories!! You put on a bra today? Hell yeah! You got in to University? Fucking amazing! You stubbed your little toe on the couch, spilled your coffee on the white rug, but you didn’t let it ruin your whole day or swear in front of the kids?? Girl, I am hella proud of you!!

Some days are harder than others. What comes easy to you, might not come easy to others. It really doesn’t cost a damn thing to be nicer to one another, to focus on the good, or to even celebrate someone else’s victory, whether small or large. It doesn’t make you a fake person to be nice to someone.

My advice… Take some technology breaks, often. Try to see the positive in everything. When people react in a way that upsets you, they are probably dealing with something that they don’t discuss and maybe them hurting you is a reflection of their pain. If you find yourself getting sucked in to some drama, detach yourself from it. Do things that make you happy and feel good. Be kind to others. Go and comment or message 10 people that you think are doing a really good job right now. Whether it be as a parent, in business, in school, in getting healthy, in simply just surviving the day! Message them something nice, to congratulate them, tell them what you like about what they are doing, even just to say good job!! Because I promise you, you will make their day and you won’t feel too bad from it afterwards yourself.

That’s all from me today. Let me know in the comments below what you thought. Do you agree? Disagree? Did you message 10 people something nice? If you did, how did it make you feel? I always love to hear whether my blogs have helped inspire you today.

Tina

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